Ukukhathalelwa nokondla yikholamu yeengcebiso zobuzali kaSlate.Unemibuzo malunga nokongiwa kunye nokondla?Ngenisa apha okanye uyithumele kwiqela le-Facebook le-Slate Parenting.
Unyana wam oneminyaka eli-10 ubudala usandula ukukhula.Kudala ndimane ndimkhethela impahla okanye ndimnike izinto ezininzi kumzala kodwa yena unomdla kakhulu kwi fashion ngoku.Ngaphandle kokuba kunye, saba nexesha elimnandi.Kule mihla, awuvumelekanga ukusebenzisa igumbi lokunxiba.Xa ndimxelela ukuba makathenge isayizi yempahla, akakholelwa!Ngumfo okrwada, ndifuna ukuba ngoyena mfo umncinci, kwaye uyacaphuka xa ndimxelela umntu omkhulu kunalowo ebezama ukumkhetha.Ufuna ezona mpahla zincinci… Kodwa uneminyaka eli-10 kuphela ngoku, kwaye nezona mpahla zincinci zabantwana azimfanelanga.Xa sifika ekhaya, wanxiba isayizi endiyikhethileyo, iyandifanela, kodwa qho xa ndingumntu ombi kwaye ndala isayizi encinci, yayiza kuba yinto engapheliyo evenkileni.Ukuba ubungakanani obunxibileyo buncinci kwaye buncinci, kutheni ubukhulu buhluke kwivenkile?Ndithini ukusombulula oku kungavisisani ngaphandle kokumkhathaza?Kutheni efuna ukunxiba iimpahla ezincinci?
Ngaba ukhe wacinga ngokuthenga iimpahla ezininzi kwi-Intanethi?Ngenxa yokuba unyana wakho akazukwazi ukuzama iimpahla kwigumbi lokutshixa ngo-2020, kubonakala ngathi unokukuphepha ukuvezwa kunye nokuxinezeleka esidlangalaleni, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba uya kuphoswa ziivenkile ezithengisa iimpahla ezinomdla.Umgaqo-nkqubo wokubuyiswa kwamahhala kwiivenkile ezininzi ze-intanethi ngokuqhelekileyo uthetha ukuba kufuneka uthenge kuphela ibhulukhwe ezimbini kwipere nganye, enye kwisayizi encinci, kwaye ubuyisele ibhulukhwe ngexesha lokuthenga.Le ngxaki ingasonjululwa lula .Ukuvuma ngokungakhathali ukuba amajelo afaneleka ngakumbi.(Esinye isisombululo: vele ulandele imidiya kwaye usike ileyibhile ngaphambi kokuba uyibone.)
Ndiyavuma ukuba inkwenkwe eneminyaka eli-10 ubudala ithandane ngokweemvakalelo kunoontanga bayo abancinane.Andiqondi ukuba kufuneka ukhawuleze uxilonge umntwana wakho ukuba unayo nayiphi na ingxaki yokutya okanye ukukhubazeka emzimbeni, kodwa ndiza kunikela ingqalelo kakhulu kwindlela aziva ngayo kwaye ndithethe ngomzimba wakhe ekuqaleni kokufikisa, nokuba uyaqhubeka evakalisa ukungoneliseki kwakhe. umzimba kunye nesiqu Umahluko phakathi kwezimvo kufanelekile ukuxoxa kunye nengcali.
Noko ke, ngenxa nje yembono yakhe enenkani, izizukulwana eziliqela zabazali ziye zayicombulula ingxaki yobungakanani bomntwana ngamazwi amane omlingo: “Uya kukhula.”Ngalo lonke ixesha le ngxaki ivela, ndicebisa ukuba uwathumele.
Ukuqwalasela yonke into eyenzekayo kwihlabathi, oku akuyena mbandela ochaphazelekayo, kodwa sisebenza nzima ukuqwalasela indawo yendawo kunye nosana olutsha.Mna nomyeni wam sijonge phambili kumntwana wethu wesibini ngoMatshi.Sinonyana oneminyaka emi-2, oza kuba neminyaka emibini enesiqingatha xa umntwana omtsha efika.Indlu yethu inamagumbi amabini okulala kumgangatho wesibini, kwaye indawo ephezulu egqityiweyo ekugqibeleni iya kuba lelinye lamagumbi abantwana.Igumbi lokuhlambela labantwana likumgangatho wesibini, ecaleni kwegumbi lonyana wam.Ngoku, unyana wethu ukwigumbi elisecaleni kwethu.Malunga neenyanga ezintandathu emva kokuzalwa, umntwana omtsha uya kuba egumbini lethu, kodwa ke ucinga ukuba yeyiphi impendulo engcono?Unyana wethu uya kwenza uqeqesho lwamanzi xa umntwana ephuma kwigumbi lethu, ukuba simhambisa kwigumbi le-attic, kuya kufuneka aqhube izitebhisi eziphakamileyo ukuya kwindlu yangasese ebusuku.Kwelinye icala, ukuba sibeka umntwana omtsha kwigumbi eliphezulu, siya kutya sijonge phantsi.Ngaba siya kumbeka umntwana kwigumbi elingaphantsi komhlaba de unyana wam akhule aze afumane uqeqesho lweembiza ngokupheleleyo?Ndinexhala malunga notshintsho olukhulu xa igumbi liba likhulu, kodwa ndifuna umntwana wam omdala abe negumbi le-attic ixesha elide.Ekugqibeleni, ucinga ukuba sesiphi esona sicombululo?
Owu, ilula kakhulu.Beka umntwana kwigumbi eliphezulu.Uya kuba nombulelo ngomgama omncinci owongezelelekileyo, kwaye unyana wakho uya konwaba kuba akusayi kubakho zinguqu zinkulu ebomini bakhe eza kutshintsha.Ukuguqulwa kwiminyaka embalwa kuya kuba lula, kuba umntwana uya kufumana umbhede omncinci womzalwana omdala kunye negumbi lomzalwana omkhulu, ngelixa umzalwana omdala uya kuba nesithuba sakhe phezulu, esiya kulungiswa ngononophelo ukuze abonise umdla wakhe. enebhedi enkulu kunye entle entle.
Malunga nonyaka odlulileyo, intsapho yomyeni wam yasinika umdlalo omncinane omnandi njengesipho sabantwana abancinane.Ndiyathemba ukuba bachithe imali eninzi.Sasinexhala malunga nokungenelela kwenkcubeko kwaye sagqiba ekubeni siyigcine emva kweengxoxo ezininzi.Sithetha ngenkuthalo malunga nobuhlanga kunye nabantwana, bancinci kakhulu ukuba baqonde ukuba kutheni singonwabanga ngezipho.Umama usoloko endixelela ukuba xa upha umntu isipho, yintando yakhe kwaye ubuza ngobukrwada.Nangona kunjalo, umakhulu wam welizwe akabonakali abelana neli xabiso.Kulo nyaka uphelileyo, ebebuza umyeni wam ukuba kutheni ingekho kuzo naziphi na iifoto esizithumelayo.Umyeni wam wayedla ngokuwuphakamisa lo mbandela ngokuthi asinandawo yaneleyo, nto leyo esenokuba sesona sicombululo sifanelekileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, siye sathutha kwaye ngoku kukho indawo-ngoku uyasokola ukulwa ukuba kutheni singekayifaki.Umamazala usenokuba wothuswa bubuhlanga bakhe, nangona ndikholelwa ukuba sonke sineenkolelo zobuhlanga yaye simele sisebenze nzima ukuze soyise ezi nkolelo.Ndimvile xa ethetha ngam, nangona kungekho ngcaciso icacileyo.Ngelo xesha, ndamkhuthaza ngokuphandle ukuba acinge ngento awayeyithetha, nto leyo eyayibonakala imxaka kancinane.Kodwa ndicinga ukuba imeko yahluke kancinane.Wasipha izipho awayecinga ukuba ziyathandeka.Ngaba unokucinga ngendlela yokuyicombulula le ngxaki ngoxa ugcina ulwalamano lwethu naye lomelele?
Kakade ke, unelungelo lokuxelela umama wakho ukuba awanelisekanga sisipho asiphe umntwana wakho.Ngokufanelekileyo, kuya kufuneka ukhululeke ngokwaneleyo omnye komnye ukuze incoko phakathi kwamaqela omabini ibe lula kwaye ingabinampazamo.Usenokuthi, “Uyazi, ndikhe ndazifunda ezinye iincwadi, kwaye asifuni nje ukubeka iphepha lokubhalela endlwini kuba lisusa intsingiselo yokungahoywa kwamatye okuthintela amasiko angekho mhlophe.”Usenokucaphula umbhali womthonyama Eli nqaku licacisa ukuba ungakanani umonakalo onokuthi ubangele oku kunyhashwa kwenkcubeko nakwimimandla ebonakala ingenabungozi njengezinto zokudlala zabantwana.
Enyanisweni, ngewawukhe wancokola nomamazala wakho xa wayekupha isipho kunyaka ophelileyo.Ndiyathemba ukuba unayo!Oko kuya kuba lula kakhulu.Ngoku, uchithe unyaka utyeshela isicelo sakhe sezipho kubazukulwana bakhe abathandekayo ukuba badlale nabo.Ngokoluvo lwam, ezi zicelo zisengqiqweni ngokupheleleyo ukuba ayisosicelo sikanyoko.Ngowuphi umakhulu ongafuniyo ukubona ezofoto?Umyeni wakho ubanjwe ngobuxoki phakathi komama ohlukumezekileyo emphefumlweni kunye nomfazi obonakala engamthandi umama wakhe kuba akukho ndawo yaneleyo yeengcebiso, ngoku uhlala kwindawo enkulu, kwaye ubuxoki bubhengeziwe. .
Ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba uxelele umamazala wakho inyani ngoTippi ngokucacileyo nangobubele.Indlela yobuhlobo kukuthetha naye kwaye umisele uhambo oya kuhamba ngalo ngokuqinisekileyo ngexesha elithile, ukusuka ekucingeni ukuba izinto zokudlala ezinjengeethoyi zikaTippi azinabungozi ukuya ekuqondeni ukuba luluvo olubi, hayi njengaye wonke umntu okhanyiselweyo unokuqonda le ngcamango. yena.Ngaphandle kokuba akukho mizekelo icacileyo yokunganyamezeli kunye nokungaziphathi kakuhle kwileta yakho, umazala wakho ukhangeleka njengomntu osele ekhulile omnandi, oqheleke ngokupheleleyo, nangona kusenokungabi kuhle njengomama wakho, kodwa akufuneki kwamkelwe unyango lwamazinyo. .Ileta yakho ithetha ukuba ufuna ukumnika yona.
Uhlangabezana njani neemvakalelo zakho zokuphoxeka rhoqo, ukungxoliswa, okanye amanye amava angalunganga ngomntwana wakho?Mna nomyeni wam sisebenza ixesha elizeleyo ekhaya kwaye akukho ncedo ekunyamekeleni abantwana, ngoko umntwana wethu oneminyaka emi-6 unokonwabisa iiyure ezimbalwa ngexesha.Olu phawu lusanda kuphuhliswa luphuculo olukhulu kwiinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala zokuhlala kwam ekhaya, xa ndandizama ukufuna ingqalelo yam ngengqiniba yakhe elindileyo.Akazange azithethelele ngokupheleleyo-ndandimkrobe rhoqo ngemizuzu engama-20 okanye ngaphezulu (okanye rhoqo ukuba uthe cwaka), kwaye sasinexesha elimiselweyo lika-1:1 imini yonke.Uzincokolela, adlale ngezinto zokudlala, azobe imifanekiso, asike iphepha abe ziziqwenga ezisisigidi, aze asebenzise intaphane yeteyiphu.Iyamangalisa.Kodwa wenze izinto ezininzi ekungafanelanga ukuba azenze: ukupeyinta ezindongeni, ukusebenzisa iglu ezahlukeneyo (iglu, intlama yamazinyo, isicoci sesandla, ishampu, nebhotile yesikhuselo selanga) kuzo zonke iindawo eziphathwayo, ucheba iinwele zakhe, uchebe iimpahla zakhe. , shiya iinyembezi kwizityalo, njl.
Ndiyabona, uyadika.Ndizama ukuyeka ezi zinto zincinci, ndimvumele ancede acoce ubumdaka, kwaye ndimlungise kuphela xa enze into eyinkcitho okanye eyingozi ngokwenene.Ndizamile ukwenza ulindelo lwam lucace ngakumbi kwaye ndimnike amajelo avunyiweyo okubhideka, ukulinga kunye nokutshabalalisa.Ndikholelwe, ndiyaqonda ukuba oku kuvakala kunganelisi-amagcisa asakhasayo anamhlanje/abahlaseli/iiarhente zesiphithiphithi abafuni ukuphuma kwesiphithiphithi esivunyiweyo.Ekuhlalutyweni kokugqibela, kubonakala ngathi ubudlelwane phakathi kwethu buye buhlala buhlala, ngathi, hayi, musa ukwenza oko, musa ukucoca ngoku, nceda ungabhubhisi, musa ukwenza oko.Naye wayemana endijongile, ngokungathi ndandimchitha onke amathuba akhe olonwabo emhlabeni.Ndiziva ndidelekile, okwenduku eludakeni, yaye ndidiniwe.ndincede!
Lo nyaka ube ngunyaka onzima kuye wonke umntu, kodwa ibingunyaka ombi kakhulu kubazali babantwana abancinci.Abantwana bam badala kangangokuba i-prank abadibana nayo egumbini "kukuvutha kwi-Reddit" endaweni "yokugubungela udonga lwe-sunscreen" -oku kuseyingxaki, kodwa kubhidekile kancinci.
Ndicinga ukuba umntwana wakho oneminyaka emi-6 unokuthi akafuni "uMntu" kangangokuba uya kwala nayiphi na "indlela evunyiweyo yokuphuma", kodwa ndicinga ukuba unokuba nengqikelelo.Uninzi lwabantwana abaneminyaka emi-6 abazubaxaka ngenxa yokuba ngooAntifa.Njengoko ubutshilo, bayabhida kuba bayadika.Kwaye kunokwenzeka ngokupheleleyo ukudibanisa amaxesha kunye neendawo ezigunyazisiweyo ukuze isiphithiphithi sibe bubomi babo ngaphandle kokuzivala.Unokucinga ngokubeka itafile echongiweyo kwigumbi lakhe elinemiphetho ephakanyisiweyo, okanye ukupeyinta iindonga zakhe ngepeyinti yebhodi, okanye ukugquma igumbi lokuhlambela ngetawuli kwaye ubhengeze yonke imihla Dlala emanzini ngo-2pm.
Xa abazali bakho bedimazekile njengawe, konke ukunxulumana kwakho kuyabalungisa.Kodwa ndifuna ukukukhumbuza ukuba oku akunjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo, abo banamathele entliziyweni yakho, kodwa ndiqinisekile ukuba ndiqinisekisa ukuba ixesha elilodwa ngosuku aluyikuqalekisa nje.Unika uthando oluninzi kunye nenkxaso kwi-expressionist ekhulayo, eya kubonakala ngokuqinisekileyo kwi-biopic yakhe etyunjwe ngu-Oscar.
Into yokugqibela: Utshilo ukuba wena nomyeni wakho nobabini nisebenza ekhaya, kodwa emva koko wathi shwaka kwiileta zenu eziseleyo.Ndiqinisekile ukuba uyakuyikroba entloko rhoqo emva kwemizuzu engama-20 ukumnqanda ukuba agqume ikati ngepolishi yezihlangu, akunjalo?Ukuba akunjalo, nceda umkhumbuze ukuba akulunganga ukuba ube kuphela komntu ogweba i-Little Jackson ngokugquma i-duvet nge-ketchup, njengokuba ungafanelanga ube nguwe wedwa umntu ocinga malunga nendlela yokuchitha ubomi bentombi yakho ngokonwaba kangangoko.
Kwipodcast yobuzali kaSlate ethi "Umama noTata bayalwa," intsomi yebhola ekhatywayo u-Abby Wambach kutshanje uphendule umbuzo ovela kubazali bomntwana oneminyaka emi-4 "owayenembaleki engaqhelekanga".Umdla owomeleleyo wezemidlalo.
“Ndicinga ukuba xa abantwana belishiya ibala lebhola, sabelana nabo ngezinto ezintathu.Okuqala: Ndiyakuthanda ukubukela udlala.Ixesha.Okwesibini: Uziva njani?Uziva njani apho?Okwesithathu: Ufunde ntoni namhlanje Yintoni obungayazi ngaphambili?Yiyo leyo.Emva komdlalo webhola, kufuneka uxelele abantwana bakho oku, kuba kukho ezinye izinto.Ubaxelela ngokungangqalanga ukuba uthando lwakho luxhomekeke ekubeni balungile okanye babi.Isiphithiphithi enkundleni.Yonke inkqubo yezemidlalo kukwenza iimpazamo, ukuvana, ukwenza iimpazamo kunye nokuvana.”
Ukufumana impendulo epheleleyo kaWambach, mamela iziqendu zamva nje kwaye ubhalise "uMama noTata bayalwa" naphi na apho umamele ipodcast.
Amalungu eSlate Plus afumana iingcebiso ezongezelelekileyo zobuzali veki nganye.Bakwancedisa ukuxhasa ubuntatheli bukaSlate.
Uphelelwe ngamanqaku asimahla.Joyina iSlate Plus ukuqhubeka nokufunda, uya kuba nokufikelela okungenamkhawulo kuwo wonke umsebenzi wethu kwaye uxhase ubuntatheli obuzimeleyo beSlate.Ungarhoxisa nangaliphi na ixesha.
Isileyiti sipapashwe yiSlate Group yeGraham Holdings Company.Wonke umxholo ©2020 Slate Group LLC.onke Amalungelo Agciniwe.
Isileyiti sixhomekeke kwiintengiso ukuxhasa ubuntatheli bethu.Ukuba uyawuxabisa umsebenzi wethu, nceda uvale i-ad blocker yakho.
Joyina iSlate Plus, uya kuwuxhasa umsebenzi wethu kwaye ufumane umxholo okhethekileyo.Kwaye awusoze uphinde uwubone lo myalezo.
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R && e.iframeEnabled) {var n = “”;buyisela t && “umtya” == typeof t.consentString &&(” boolean” == typeof t.gdprApplies? n + = “?Gdpr =”. concat (Inombolo (t.gdprApplies), “&gdpr_consent =”). concat ( t.consentString): n + = “? gdpr_consent =”. concat (t.consentString)), i && (n + = “” .concat(n? “&”: “?”, “us_privacy =”). concat (encodeURIComponent(i))), R =!0, {Uhlobo: “iframe”, URL: a + n} ;}}, transformBidParams: umsebenzi transformBidParams(e) {return g.convertTypes({accountId: “number”, siteId: “numbe r”, zoneId:” number”}, e);};umsebenzi_(e, r) {var t, i = 0 e.ubude)&&(t = e.ubude);kuba(var r = 0, n = n ew Array(t); r'; var r, n;};}; var a = umsebenzi a(e) {var r = 0 = e && r.innerWidth r.length ) &&(e = r.ubude);ye(var t = 0, n = iArray entsha(e); tb? a: b;} / ** *Iluphu ngokukhawuleza ngezinto ezibekwe esweni* / umsebenzi kwiScroll() {list.forEach(updateVisibility);} / ** * Uhlaziyo lweempawu ezibonisiweyo* @param {Iyabonakala} into* @param {{}} evt * @fires Visible#ibonisiwe * @fires Visible#hidden */function updateSeen(into, evt) {var px = evt.visiblePx, ipesenti = evt .visiblePercent;;//Ukuba ezinye iipixels ziyabonakala kwaye zikhulu kuno okanye Ilingana nomgubasi, ngoko (px && percent> = item.shownThreshold &&!item.seen){item.seen = true; setTimeout(function(){item . trigger(“ibonisiwe”, iVisibleEvent entsha(“ibonisiwe”,evt)) ;}, 15); //Ukuba akukho pixels okanye ipesenti ingaphantsi kunomqobo} ngenye indlela ((!px || ipesenti = 0 && rect.left> = 0 && rect.bottom 1) {isiphumo + = getLinearSpacialHash(intsalela, iMath.floor (StepSize / base), OptimalK-1, isiseko);} isiphumo sokubuyisela;} / ** * @param {ClientRect} rect * @param {inombolo} innerHeight * @ibuyisela {inombolo} * / umsebenzi getVerticallyVisiblePixels(rect, innerHeight) {buyisela min(innerHeight, max(rect.bottom, 0))-min(max(rect.top, 0), innerHeight);} / ** *Fumana i-offset yesiqalelo esinxulumene nephepha lonke* * @param { Element} el * @returns {{left:number, top:number}} * @bona http://jsperf. com/offset-vs- getboundingclientrect / 7 * / umsebenzi getPageOffset(el){var offsetLeft = el.of fsetLeft, offsetTop = el.offsetTop;ngelixa (el = el.offsetParent) {offsetLeft + = el.offsetLeft;offsetTop + = el.offsetTop;} buyela {ekhohlo: offsetLeft, phezulu: offsetTop};} / ** *Yenza udidi Olutsha olubonakalayo oluNtsha ukuze uqwalasele xa izinto zifaka kwaye zishiya izibuko* *Biza umsebenzi wokutshabalalisa ukuze uyeke ukumamela (de sibe inkxaso engcono ukususwa kweendawo zokujonga)* @param {Element} el * @Parameter {{shownThreshold: inombolo, hiddenThreshold: inombolo}} [ukhetho] * @class * @example this.visible = i-$ visibility entsha.Visible(el) ;*/Ebonakalayo=umsebenzi obonakalayo(el, ukhetho) {option=option||{};le.el = el;oku.kubonwayo = bubuxoki;this.preload = bubuxoki;this.preloadThreshold = option&& options.preloadThreshhold ||0this.shownThreshold = ukhetho&& options.shownThreshold ||0this.hiddenThreshold = ukhetho&& min(iinketho .shownThreshold, options.hiddenThreshold)||0uluhlu.tyhala(oku);ukuhlaziyaUkubonakala(oku);// Misela ukuba ibonakale okanye ingabonakali ngokukhawuleza};Visible.prototype = {/ ** *Yeka ukubangela.* / tshabalalisa: umsebenzi tshabalalisa (){//Susa list.splice(list.indexOf(le), 1) kuluhlu;} / ** * @igama elibonakalayo#on * @function * @param {'shown'|'hidden'} e EventName * @param {function} cb callback* / / ** * @igama elibonakalayo#trigger * @function * @param {'ibonisiwe'|'ifihliwe'} e * @param {{}} * / };Eventify.enable(Visible.prototype);VisibleEvent = umsebenzi VisibleEvent (uhlobo, ukhetho) {var _this = le;olu.udidi = uhlobo;Object.keys(iinketho).forEach(umsebenzi(isitshixo){_eli [isitshixo] = iinketho [isitshixo];});};//Mamela iziganeko zokuskrola (zithintelwe) $ document.addEventListener("scroll", _throttle(onScroll, 200));// esidlangalaleni oku.getPageOffset = getPageOffset;this.getLinearSpacialHash = getLinearSpacialHash;this.getVerticallyVisiblePixels = getVerticallyVisiblePixels;this.getViewportHeight = getViewportHeight;this.getViewportWidth = getViewportWidth;this.isElementNotHidden = isElementNotHidden;this.isElementInViewport = isElementInViewport;le.Ebonakalayo];= ebonakalayo;}]] = (Umsebenzi e (t, n, r) {umsebenzi s (o, u) {ukuba (! n [o]) {ukuba (! t [o]) {var a = typeof ifuna = = “umsebenzi” && kufuna; ukuba(! u && a) ibuyisela i (o,! 0); ukuba (i) ibuyisela i (o,! 0); var f = Impazamo entsha (“Ayinakufumana modyuli” + o + “'”));jula f.ikhowudi = “MODULE_NOT_FOUND”, f} var l = n [o] = {ethunyelwa ngaphandle:{}};t [o] [0] .umnxeba(l.ukuthunyelwa ngaphandle, umsebenzi(e){var n = t [o] [1] [e]; buyisela s(n?n:e)}, l, l.ukuthunyelwa ngaphandle, e,t,n,r)} buyisela n [o] .exports} var i = typeof ifuna == "umsebenzi" && kufuna;ye(var o = 0; o